Heart of a Southern Woman

A snapshot of life one blog post at a time.

On the first day of Christmas, 2013…

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I came down with PNEUMONIA!   NOW God? I just rejoined your church– doesn’t that count for anything? We have a new baby Granddaughter–born 6  weeks prematurely on Dec. 16,–her Mom and Papa need my help with the 2 and 6 year olds!  It’s Christmas…You saved her life, and you saved her mother’s life, and I am thankful, and humbled! To be quite honest, I thought maybe I was the one leaving this earthly life just Christmas night!  But it seems you have decided to keep us all around for a bit, thank you! Don’t think I don’ t recognize how blessed we are…how you sacrificed your Son so we could have life abundantly and eternally! Thank You! But what is this then? I can live but not help? No….I’m sure that’s not it…The three of us get to live, but not my neighbor, who died this week? WHAT!?!

You know Lord, when I first got sick with my heart disease back in 1999, yes, almost 15 years ago now, You and I had quite a few talks about it….why….how….what now. Patience you said, learn patience…..and I tried, I really did. I prayed, talked with my minister, others prayed for me, I studied the Bible, lead a support group, wrote, researched, and life moved on. Differently than I had thought it might…but with the blessings of daughters entering adulthood and now the birth of three grandchildren. Now, I admit, I have shook my fists at heaven more than once and said “Patience, smachience! Enough already! I failed! You knew I was flawed when you made me, and yet yu gave me free choice? ”   The doctors said I couldn’t/wouldn’t live this long–apparently You had other plans.  The doctors said Ali and Greg couldn’t have a child without fertility help, but here’s Evie! I’m not bashing doctors–Lord you know what a blessing they’ve been to our family!  But okay there’s only one Lord!  And a blessing this life is! With all its trials and tribulations Lord!  Thank You for pneumonia, it made me stop and listen again, but…now… give me a hand will ya please Lord, so I can get back into things, please Lord? Patience?? really??? I’m not Job you know. Love you and thankful for life!

Author: Helen Holshouser

Old enough to enjoy life, I am a Red Hatter, grandmother, gardener, and amateur genealogist. I am a retired clinical psychologist, master's level, who is disabled with heart disease, but having fun with family and friends. Married over 40 years, I have two grown daughters and three grandchildren. I have learned that grandchildren provide a joy one never knew existed---writing feeds my soul, gardening is therapy, and genealogy research makes me feel like a detective!

5 thoughts on “On the first day of Christmas, 2013…

  1. Dearest Helen, so much to be thankful for, and then, oh, the thorns! So sorry to hear about your pneumonia, just what you don’t need at this time! There will be plenty of time for you to help take care of those sweet little grands of yours when Evie comes home and you’re feeling better. Focusing on that may help you cope with the frustrations of the moment. Meanwhile prayers in abundance for you, for baby Evie and her loving family, and for the medical teams and the caring teams involved in your and her care. Love and hugs, Linda

    Sent from my iPhone

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  2. Thank you so much for your constant support in a million different ways! Be safe on your travels! Helen

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  3. Yes, you always understand…the thorns! Lol Love you!

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  4. I’m loving your 12 Days of Christmas uttering a, Cuz!
    Linda

    Sent from my iPhone

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  5. Thank you Linda, you are so encouraging! Love you! Helen

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